Where are you hiding Graham
@V8Druid?
Evening chaps ..
annual weeks torture at Longleat Centerparks with four kids and six grandkids .... been a long five days
right - don't solve it without me ... gotta go have me hamster juice for a couple of hours .... can't do it in the morning ----- Laters gentlemen
's why I had to do me 'hamster juice' last Sunday, for an early get away Monday morning.

Can't book in before 10.00, but once in - parked the car 'til late afternoon and spent the day in their 30C heated pool and 'tropical dome' .
there's always a mad rush at four o'clock by the hoards heading for their lodges .. we stayed in the pool 'til six and all the carnage had subsided - clear run up to the lodges - back down, park the cars and catch the land train back .. very civilised - we have it off pat.
Pam spent most of the week trying to
drown me teach me to swim - AGAIN!! ... my buoyancy is pretty sh1t - like negative - I do not float - end of ... but quite happy floating about with me foam 'woggle' thing and can get about the pool with that keeping me on the surface

.....
she can't grasp the fact that after a take off from neck depth water, heading for shallower depths, after five or so strokes my propulsion just isn't enough to keep me above water and I go down like a sub in a crash dive

...
I've 'humoured' her a bit daily, but I'll stick with me woggle thankyou ...
this Druid was never designed to float ..
too much bone density, too much muscle mass and no where near enough blubber.
funny one for you - a couple actually ...
one o'clock today everyone got pulled out the pool ..
life guards peep peeping their whistles ....
someone thought they'd spotted a turd on the bottom of the pool in the 2-ish foot area ...
guard wades in and pulls out a clump of soil from one of the plants surrounding the pool

...
half hour later we're all back in and they turned the wave maker on - usually there's a circa two minute warning, but not this afters ...
was going for it within 30 seconds or so ....
I'm in the deep end, where I can just about touch the bottom with me head just below the surface and way too close to the end wall when it kicked off - happy enough in the middle - got me float and just bob about usually ...
They must've been giving us our money's-worth 'cos these waves were BIG - like 4ft where I was and 'fore I know it I'm pinned to the wall, coming up for air - grabbed the rope and had a foot against the wall above the water vents, which're like 'security grilles', 4ft high and gaps you can get yer leg through, under the water, preparing to launch meself back up the pool, with the next wave that hit the wall .....

life guards are going batshit, blowing their whistles, like crazy - which was helping a lot, (
not) from where I was situated

..
Pam turned at the noise and could see I was in the tish, but she had a 4 yr old with her and could do little else other than watch from the 3 ft depth ...
the one guy's got his shirt off and getting ready to come in, as I launched myself out from the wall and 'swum' for all I was worth away from it

...
got some real waggy fingers, once they realised I'd got meself out the tish .....
when I got to Pam she was wetting herself laughing at how berserk they'd all gone with their whistles -- you usually get a little peep for a misdemeanour ....
the way they'd been going for it it sounded like a hanging offence ....
and I was the innocent party ...
bloody water'd grabbed me and there was sod all I could do other than what I'd done ...
'Least I kept me head and survived it

second funny ..
we usually each prep an evening meal and take with us ...
Pam, Vicki and Josh
then eat out on the fourth night, save faffing about....
finished our meal last night - served by this very pretty 20 something Polish girl ..
kids were still finishing their deserts and asked for the bill as she came across.
Said
"I'm just going out for a smoke and I'll sort you out when I come back"
Adults erupted into fits of laughter, she said some thing to me (which I didn't actually hear, but assumed it was along the lines of OK) and I went out for me smoke.
came back and they're still laughing about it - Chris says to me "
what did she say to you? " and quick as a flash I said, she said "
you're on if you can lick your eyebrows - I'm off at ten " you can imagine the reaction from the rest of 'em


I've done my best to amuse 'em this week


