General election

Storrsy

Storrsy

Well-known member
Ah so they can claim upto 115k a year for life to cover the cost of "life after leaving office- staffing, public engagement etc costs etc.🙄
 
JD450A

JD450A

Feral as Fk 🐾
And why is it that AI could happily doctor an image of me but not Keir.....
 

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Lancs Lad

Lancs Lad

Well-known member
another cracker:


Keir Starmer’s office triumphantly briefed that more than 100 MPs had signed a letter begging him to stay on as Prime Minister.

A spontaneous outpouring of loyalty apparently. Britain was supposed to picture Labour MPs queuing down Whitehall in tears, clutching biros and whispering “please don’t leave us Keir”.

Tiny problem. The letter turned out to be about as authentic as a three-pound Rolex from a Marbella beach stall.

Several MPs listed reportedly hadn’t even agreed to sign it. Others were allegedly “supportive” in the same sense hostages are supportive during negotiations.

Westminster now resembles a sixth-form student council election where somebody’s forged signatures on the nomination sheet and hoped nobody would notice.

Which is rather fitting for Starmerism in general. The entire project increasingly feels like it was assembled by corporate HR managers in a panic after the actual politicians failed a background check.

Every week it’s another sermon about “protecting democracy” from a government that seems to regard free speech as something that should only exist when approved by a compliance department and moderated by Ofcom.

This is the same Prime Minister who talks endlessly about openness and tolerance while presiding over visa bans and speaker exclusions for people whose opinions offend the fashionable graduate seminar consensus in Westminster.

Britain used to export debate. Under Starmer, it increasingly resembles an airport security queue run by social media moderators. And that’s the real issue beneath the comedy.

The public can tolerate unpopular leaders. Britain has survived plenty of those. What people cannot stand is the creeping sense that everything is manufactured.

The endorsements. The slogans. The staged “resets”. The carefully focus-grouped sincerity. Even the support letters now apparently arrive with the structural integrity of a counterfeit nightclub ID.

Starmer doesn’t look like a strong leader defending democracy. He looks like the regional manager of a collapsing utilities company desperately circulating a staff petition insisting morale has never been higher while half the office is updating LinkedIn profiles under the desk.
 
Lancs Lad

Lancs Lad

Well-known member
Grim reaper is deffo looming now. streetings dumped them now.



Oh and todays masterpiece:

Rachel Reeves now resembles the financial equivalent of a woman attempting to pilot a burning caravan through a flooded quarry while insisting everything is “fully costed.”

Britain’s business community meanwhile sits tied to the roof rack wondering whether the next tax rise will arrive before or after the axle falls off.

Government borrowing costs are now at levels not seen since the late 1990s. The pound is sliding around like a drunk wedding guest. Asset managers are openly warning investors to avoid British debt.

Morgan Stanley has effectively looked at the UK economy and diagnosed it with “persistent vegetative state.” Yet Reeves still delivers speeches with the rigid confidence of somebody trying to assemble IKEA furniture upside down while refusing to read the instructions.

The truly impressive part is how Labour has managed to recreate the atmosphere of 1976 without the inconvenience of disco music or visible industrial capacity.

Back then James Callaghan went crawling to the IMF because Britain had run out of road, money and credibility simultaneously. In 2026 Labour has modernised the process.

We now bankrupt the country digitally while MPs post diversity graphics on LinkedIn and insist declining living standards are “the transition.”

The business community has become an endangered species under Reeves. Shopkeepers, contractors, consultants, manufacturers and self-employed professionals are treated less like wealth creators and more like criminal suspects who somehow escaped sentencing.

Every morning another business owner wakes up to discover:
higher corporation tax,
higher employment costs,
higher borrowing costs,
higher compliance costs,
higher energy costs,
and lower confidence.

At this point the average SME owner checks HMRC correspondence the way medieval villagers checked the horizon for Viking ships.

And what is Reeves’s answer to a flatlining economy? More taxation, naturally. Because nothing stimulates investment quite like threatening the remaining productive people with financial euthanasia.

Meanwhile Labour MPs are openly sharpening knives over Starmer’s leadership while bond markets watch in horror like nervous wedding guests spotting the groom’s ex climbing through a church window.

If Starmer survives, markets see weakness and spending concessions to the Labour left.
If Rayner arrives, investors start hiding under desks. If Burnham arrives, gilt traders may simply burst into tears on live television.

There is no reassuring option. The entire front bench now resembles the management team of a collapsing regional theatre company trying to perform Les Misérables during a gas leak.

Britain is drifting carelessly into national insolvency managed by people whose only growth sector appears to be public sector consultancy and sensitivity training.

Callaghan’s ghost must be looking down at Westminster thinking:
“Bloody hell… even we weren't that dishonest.
 
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