M
Maxus
Well-known member
A man was woken up in the small hours by somebody breaking into his garden shed.
He calls the Police, but the response is “Sorry, we cant attend, we are really busy at the moment”
A few minutes later he calls the Police again and says “Don't worry about it. Everything is fine, I shot him”
2 minutes later 3 squad cars and a helicopter rock up.
The burglar is arrested in the act,
The police say to the home owner.
“I thought you said you had shot him!”
Homeowner says;
“I though you said you were busy!”
He calls the Police, but the response is “Sorry, we cant attend, we are really busy at the moment”
A few minutes later he calls the Police again and says “Don't worry about it. Everything is fine, I shot him”
2 minutes later 3 squad cars and a helicopter rock up.
The burglar is arrested in the act,
The police say to the home owner.
“I thought you said you had shot him!”
Homeowner says;
“I though you said you were busy!”
6
6feetdown
Well-known member
L
Lynchy
Well-known member
L
Lynchy
Well-known member
B
Brendan
Well-known member
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
pettsy
Well-known member
L
Lynchy
Well-known member
B
Brendan
Well-known member
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
that's only gonna end one way ...... would love to see the RAMS for that
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
6
6feetdown
Well-known member
It's ok the masks will save them
6
6feetdown
Well-known member
6
6feetdown
Well-known member
Bucket on wheels
Well-known member
For those who long for next winter, read this and see if you long for winter as much
Diary from a Southtern man in Tromsø, a city in the north of Norway
I have tried to correct the faults in the Google translation from Norwegian into English
but bear with me I'm dyslexic so there might be some false still
--------------------------------------
Diary from a Southern man in Tromsø, a city in the north of Norway
December 8th
It started to snow. It is the first snow of the year, and my wife and I took us a glass of brandy and sat by the window and looked at the white flakes that descended from heaven. It looked like a painting.
It's so romantic that we feel like new in love again. I simply LOVE snow!
December 9th.
We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal clear white snow! It covered the whole landscape! What a beautiful sight! Could it be a more beautiful place in
worldwide? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
I must have snow for the first time in many years and felt like a boy again! shoveling all the way to the house, but tonight the snowplow came and covered it all over again. so i had to shovel it all again! What a fun experience!
December 12th.
The mild weather has melted all the snow. It was a disappointment, but the neighbor said that I should not despair. We definitely get a white Christmas! I will be very disappointed if we do not get snow in Christmas,
but the neighbor says we will get so much snow that I will not tolerate the sight of it before the winter is over. I think that is not possible! (These Norwegians tend to exaggerate) Neighbor A nice guy and
I'm glad to have him as the closest neighbor!
December 14.
Snow, love snow! It fell 30 cm in the night! The temperature fell to -20C. The cold makes everything happen and glitter! The wind almost took the breath away
me, I got the warmth back shoveling it all again. This is life!
The snowplow arrived tonight and covered the driveway again.
I did not think it would be so much snowing, but at least I'll get some trim. Just wish this cough went over.
December 15 .
It is reported approx. 60 cm of snow. I sold Merchen and bought a four-wheel drive. Also bought winter tires for wife's car and two extra snowboards. advertised the freezer. A woman wants a fireplace in the living room in
case the power goes. I think that's just joking. We are not in Siberia either.
December 16th.
Storm this morning. Felt and hit me when I was out and sprinkled with salt. It's like the hell. Woman laughed, something I think was badly done.
December 17th.
Still far below zero. The roads are closed because of ice and snow.
The power was gone for five hours. I had to tuck myself into blankets to keep warm. Nothing to do anything else but staring at the love and trying to annoy her. I should have arranged a fireplace, but I do not admit to her!
God I HATE when she gets right! I almost do not think I'm sitting here and fleecing to death in my own living room!
December 20th.
The power is back, but there was a new 40 cm of the damn White Snow tonight.
More shoveling. Took the whole damn day. The damn snowplow came past twice.
Tried to get the neighbor's pole to go, He said he did not have the time because he was playing ice hockey, the boy is lying
Called to buy snowblower but they were sold out. They received new supplies in March. They lie.
Nearly I say keep on shoveling otherwise the municipality will send bill because I do not keep the driveway open. He is lying!
December 22nd.
The neighbor was right in view of the white Christmas. There came a new 20 cm of the s**t today and it's so damn cold that it will hardly melt before August. It took me 45 minutes to dress on me to go out to shoveling and then
I had to piss. Before I got rid of everything I had a wee and then I then
had gotten on me again i was too tired to shoveling.
Tried to rent the neighbor to chop the rest of the winter because he had a plow on the tractor, but he said he was too busy. I think so
The devil is lying.
December 23rd.
Just 10 cm. snow today. Then it became milder too, it is at 0 C. The woman wanted me to decorate the house façade with candles today. She's the hell
not wise! She could have asked a month ago! She says she asked a month ago but I think she is lying.
December 24.
60cm. sneezy - again! Over night! f **** g h ** l !!! The snow was packed so hard by the snow plow that I broke the snowboard.
Thought I would have heart failure. If I get the damn guy driving that plow, I'll pull him through the snow after the nuts and kill him with the broken shovel! I know he hides behind the corner and waits until I finish shoveling
before he comes with the damn plow at 90km / h and covers everything I've worked up!
Tonight, I would love to sing Christmas Carols with her and open packages, but I did not have time because I was ready waiting for the damn plow.
December 25.
Good pissed hell's christmas! 50 cm. till of the f **** n snow in the night. We snowed inside.
The thought of shoveling causes me to be bullied! God like i hate this damn damn snow! Tromso! Hell's crap town!
Today, the guy who drives the snowplane came and asked for money for a collection of something crazy. I punch the used snow box in his head.
old woman off hell says i have bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to see "Aunt Pose" a damn time, I will step her into the micro-oven.
December26.
Still Snowed In. damn tromsø! Hell's Harry Land! Why the hell I moved here ???? It was her idea! She really starts to get on my nerves!
December27.
The temperature fell to -30C and the tubes were frozen. The plumber arrived after 14 hours of waiting and would have £ 350 for the work.
December 28th.
It got hotter around -20C. Still snowed in. BITCH drives me crazy!
December29.
30 cm. snow to The neighbor says I have to clear the snow off the ceiling otherwise break it together. That's the dumbest thing I've heard. Does he think I'm idiot ????
December 30th.
The roof broke down. I I smacked the snowplow driver and he suits me
for a million. Not only because I hit him but also because I tried to push the snowboard up into the ass. Old Woman Off Hell has gone home to her mother. It is reported 30 cm. snow and even COLDER !!
December31.
I torched the house. No more snow clearing! Damn it!
January 8th.
It feels so good. I love the little white pills they give me .. I just wonder why I wear his white jacket with the laces behind ....?
HAVE A GOOD WINTER !!
Diary from a Southtern man in Tromsø, a city in the north of Norway
I have tried to correct the faults in the Google translation from Norwegian into English
but bear with me I'm dyslexic so there might be some false still
--------------------------------------
Diary from a Southern man in Tromsø, a city in the north of Norway
December 8th
It started to snow. It is the first snow of the year, and my wife and I took us a glass of brandy and sat by the window and looked at the white flakes that descended from heaven. It looked like a painting.
It's so romantic that we feel like new in love again. I simply LOVE snow!
December 9th.
We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal clear white snow! It covered the whole landscape! What a beautiful sight! Could it be a more beautiful place in
worldwide? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
I must have snow for the first time in many years and felt like a boy again! shoveling all the way to the house, but tonight the snowplow came and covered it all over again. so i had to shovel it all again! What a fun experience!
December 12th.
The mild weather has melted all the snow. It was a disappointment, but the neighbor said that I should not despair. We definitely get a white Christmas! I will be very disappointed if we do not get snow in Christmas,
but the neighbor says we will get so much snow that I will not tolerate the sight of it before the winter is over. I think that is not possible! (These Norwegians tend to exaggerate) Neighbor A nice guy and
I'm glad to have him as the closest neighbor!
December 14.
Snow, love snow! It fell 30 cm in the night! The temperature fell to -20C. The cold makes everything happen and glitter! The wind almost took the breath away
me, I got the warmth back shoveling it all again. This is life!
The snowplow arrived tonight and covered the driveway again.
I did not think it would be so much snowing, but at least I'll get some trim. Just wish this cough went over.
December 15 .
It is reported approx. 60 cm of snow. I sold Merchen and bought a four-wheel drive. Also bought winter tires for wife's car and two extra snowboards. advertised the freezer. A woman wants a fireplace in the living room in
case the power goes. I think that's just joking. We are not in Siberia either.
December 16th.
Storm this morning. Felt and hit me when I was out and sprinkled with salt. It's like the hell. Woman laughed, something I think was badly done.
December 17th.
Still far below zero. The roads are closed because of ice and snow.
The power was gone for five hours. I had to tuck myself into blankets to keep warm. Nothing to do anything else but staring at the love and trying to annoy her. I should have arranged a fireplace, but I do not admit to her!
God I HATE when she gets right! I almost do not think I'm sitting here and fleecing to death in my own living room!
December 20th.
The power is back, but there was a new 40 cm of the damn White Snow tonight.
More shoveling. Took the whole damn day. The damn snowplow came past twice.
Tried to get the neighbor's pole to go, He said he did not have the time because he was playing ice hockey, the boy is lying
Called to buy snowblower but they were sold out. They received new supplies in March. They lie.
Nearly I say keep on shoveling otherwise the municipality will send bill because I do not keep the driveway open. He is lying!
December 22nd.
The neighbor was right in view of the white Christmas. There came a new 20 cm of the s**t today and it's so damn cold that it will hardly melt before August. It took me 45 minutes to dress on me to go out to shoveling and then
I had to piss. Before I got rid of everything I had a wee and then I then
had gotten on me again i was too tired to shoveling.
Tried to rent the neighbor to chop the rest of the winter because he had a plow on the tractor, but he said he was too busy. I think so
The devil is lying.
December 23rd.
Just 10 cm. snow today. Then it became milder too, it is at 0 C. The woman wanted me to decorate the house façade with candles today. She's the hell
not wise! She could have asked a month ago! She says she asked a month ago but I think she is lying.
December 24.
60cm. sneezy - again! Over night! f **** g h ** l !!! The snow was packed so hard by the snow plow that I broke the snowboard.
Thought I would have heart failure. If I get the damn guy driving that plow, I'll pull him through the snow after the nuts and kill him with the broken shovel! I know he hides behind the corner and waits until I finish shoveling
before he comes with the damn plow at 90km / h and covers everything I've worked up!
Tonight, I would love to sing Christmas Carols with her and open packages, but I did not have time because I was ready waiting for the damn plow.
December 25.
Good pissed hell's christmas! 50 cm. till of the f **** n snow in the night. We snowed inside.
The thought of shoveling causes me to be bullied! God like i hate this damn damn snow! Tromso! Hell's crap town!
Today, the guy who drives the snowplane came and asked for money for a collection of something crazy. I punch the used snow box in his head.
old woman off hell says i have bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to see "Aunt Pose" a damn time, I will step her into the micro-oven.
December26.
Still Snowed In. damn tromsø! Hell's Harry Land! Why the hell I moved here ???? It was her idea! She really starts to get on my nerves!
December27.
The temperature fell to -30C and the tubes were frozen. The plumber arrived after 14 hours of waiting and would have £ 350 for the work.
December 28th.
It got hotter around -20C. Still snowed in. BITCH drives me crazy!
December29.
30 cm. snow to The neighbor says I have to clear the snow off the ceiling otherwise break it together. That's the dumbest thing I've heard. Does he think I'm idiot ????
December 30th.
The roof broke down. I I smacked the snowplow driver and he suits me
for a million. Not only because I hit him but also because I tried to push the snowboard up into the ass. Old Woman Off Hell has gone home to her mother. It is reported 30 cm. snow and even COLDER !!
December31.
I torched the house. No more snow clearing! Damn it!
January 8th.
It feels so good. I love the little white pills they give me .. I just wonder why I wear his white jacket with the laces behind ....?
HAVE A GOOD WINTER !!
L
Lynchy
Well-known member
Oops...won't be booking him again
Grahams
Don't complain - suggest what's better
I think the colonel is probably right. However much morally you want to stand up to Putin, is it really worth thousands of civilian deaths, most of the population dispersed abroad, probably never to return when and the country reduced to ruins? If they had agreed to remain neutral Putin would have probably stopped at Crimea.
Canal Navvy
Well-known member
Not really been their year , vesselfinder entertains again
T
topkit
Well-known member
I popped in to a local council meeting in Brighton the other evening, I asked " with the way everything is going these days can someone please explain what this LGBT means" - surprise surprise nobody could give me a straight answer!
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