I challenge you to make me laugh.

doobin

doobin

Well-known member
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V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
 
V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
one for Dave @Routy56 , @doobin and all the other cat lovers on here

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9.3M views · 145K reactions | Modular Cat Wall design using French cleats to hang cat shelves and cat posts. Fully interchangeable DIY cat wall #outdoorsavannah - Movable Shelves for a Cat - Movable Climbing Posts for a Cat - I Built A Ladder For

Modular Cat Wall design using French cleats to hang cat shelves and cat posts. Fully interchangeable DIY cat wall #outdoorsavannah - Movable Shelves for a Cat - Movable Climbing Posts for a Cat -...
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William127

William127

Well-known member
Lancs Lad said:
The joys of dealing with online buyers.
Makes you feel retarded dealing with them ...detailed description on eBay stating it's 110V. Mate is it 240v. FFS can you read.
Click to expand...
Selling my spares/repairs freelander over the last month seemed to open up a new level of retards, time wasters, morons and chancers 🤦🏻🤦🏻
But the ones that really hack me off are the ones with the unpronounceable Eastern European names who just straight off ask for an address 😒 🙄 No chance, the area is clearly stated in the advert. You're not getting more than that until you act like a serious buyer 🤬🤬
 
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V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
" As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces,
"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks,
"Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says,
"Here, iron this!". "


" A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her.

"If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?" "



" A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "s**t." "
 
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Storrsy

Storrsy

Well-known member
V8Druid said:
" As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces,
"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks,
"Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says,
"Here, iron this!". "


" A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her.

"If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?" "



" A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "s**t." "
Click to expand...
Took me a while to realise they were separate jokes😂
 
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