I challenge you to make me laugh.

6

6feetdown

Well-known member
Had another job offer yesterday so I replied again today, not heard back yet
1000043421.jpg
 
V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
Dwarf with a lisp goes to a stud farm to buy a horse, "I'd
like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm.

"What sort of horse ?" asks the owner.

"A female horth", the dwarf replies and so the
owner takes him to his finest mare.

"Nithe horth", says the dwarf, "Can I
thee her eyth?".

The owner patiently picks up the dwarf and shows him the
horse's eyes.
"Nithe eyth" says the dwarf, "Can I thee
her teeth?".

Again, the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's
teeth.
"Nithe teeth, can I see her eerth?" the dwarf
says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks
up the dwarf and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nithe eerth", says the dwarf, "Can I
see her twot?"

With this, the owner picks up the dwarf and shoves his head
deep inside the horse's vagina and holds him there
for a few seconds before pulling him out and putting him
down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says, "Perhaps I should
weefwaze that, can I see her wun awound?"

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
Fella buys a talking centipede for £5000 and takes it home in a small box.
After 30 minutes, he opens the box and says, “Would you like to go for a pint?”

The centipede doesn’t answer.
He repeats the question louder - still no reply.
Now annoyed, he shouts it.

The centipede sticks his head out and says:
“I heard you the first time… I’m putting my freakin’ shoes on.”
 
6

6feetdown

Well-known member
Fella buys a talking centipede for £5000 and takes it home in a small box.
After 30 minutes, he opens the box and says, “Would you like to go for a pint?”

The centipede doesn’t answer.
He repeats the question louder - still no reply.
Now annoyed, he shouts it.

The centipede sticks his head out and says:
“I heard you the first time… I’m putting my freakin’ shoes on.”
Old is gold
 
pettsy

pettsy

Well-known member
V8Druid

V8Druid

do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff. Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left. “Janie, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, her service 9mm automatic, and a survival knife.”

“She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this incredible story?”

“Don’t f**k with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”
 
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