V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
one I've not heard for years got posted on FB ..... and had to share it 
"Do you fart in bed ?
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
"Do you fart in bed ?
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”
K
Komatsu
Well-known member
Stock
Active member
diggerjones
Well-known member
Boycie was at Dorset steam fair this year signing copies of his book
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
sorry lads ...... but I thought it was funny ......
TiltyShaun
Well-known member
The sort of beach body that my wife would point out!!!
Furniss
Well-known member
Reminds me of my old boss saying his wife used to lob one over each shoulder to wash under her arms in shower
pettsy
Well-known member
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
don't see many o' them in AldiMelons not on offer?
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
OK .... last two on this theme ............ for now
.......... perhaps
.......... perhaps
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
this is great .... have a mate who'd do just this
entered the Wyedean in his Dakar disco years ago ... scrutineers wouldn't let him play 'cos he had no interior, so shot back home, threw an interior in the back of it and returned to scrutineering ..... nothing in the book said it had to be fitted
got disqualified half way through ....... for overtaking in the scenery ..... but carried on anyway for the craic .... he won ... big time ... but ... he'd already been disqualified ..... he was nuts in a vehicle ..... but then you have to be to do the Paris-Dakar four times as a privateer
entered the Wyedean in his Dakar disco years ago ... scrutineers wouldn't let him play 'cos he had no interior,
so shot back home, threw an interior in the back of it and returned to scrutineering ..... nothing in the book said it had to be fitted got disqualified half way through
....... for overtaking in the scenery ..... but carried on anyway for the craic .... he won ... big time ... but ... he'd already been disqualified ..... he was nuts in a vehicle ..... but then you have to be to do the Paris-Dakar four times as a privateer 
doobin
Well-known member
You spelt 'shoot' wrong...
Gecko
Well-known member
I counted four
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
seen on a FB group called 'self build camper vans' this morning
wonder if the MOT testers guide has a section covering it ??
wonder if the MOT testers guide has a section covering it ??
CPS
Well-known member
You never been to Ireland then??seen on a FB group called 'self build camper vans' this morning
View attachment 9397
wonder if the MOT testers guide has a section covering it ??
Footer block 1