Lancs Lad
Well-known member
I can only imagine the carnage in the commentsapparently I'm wrong for suggesting using your digger as a motor grader isn't cost effective
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
Windows vs. Ford
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
Gecko
Well-known member
That was written about 1996, but thirty years later, it is still true today.
Not just Oil, Water and Alt. - a modern car has a thousand sensors that will all set off the same warning light.
I learnt to drive in a series Landy, so center mounted instuments are not a novalty, but ffs, the wipers were on the steering column where you could find them. A center mounted LCD with everything several menus deep makes no sence to me.
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
never seen it before but absolutely bang on still
kabin man
Well-known member
Gecko
Well-known member
Predictive Text
Is my phone trying to protect me or does it have guilty conscience?
Is my phone trying to protect me or does it have guilty conscience?
kabin man
Well-known member
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
Nice Macsalvers' 100 tonner
some good pix here
Forder: Lorry lifted free after getting stuck in lane
A crane lifts a lorry which was stuck in a lane in Cornwall after taking a wrong turn.
www.bbc.co.uk
doobin
Well-known member
For those of you from CE forums early days..
I hope it’s the same Ollie or the joke doesn’t really work.
I hope it’s the same Ollie or the joke doesn’t really work.
CPS
Well-known member
I havnt seen this page in a while?? I must be Banned 
V8Druid
do it as well as you can,but learn to do it better
it is, gardeners world, Mk1 - the original granny marcher
had a txt from him last week - not heard from him in a while - sadly it was (I assume) a pic -- me phone won't accept 'em
so no idea what it was
doobin
Well-known member
A farmer woke up one morning and decided to buy a shiny new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The confident young rooster strutted over to the old rooster and proclaimed, “Alright, old-timer, it’s time for you to hang up your spurs!”
The old rooster chuckled and replied, “Come on now, you can’t possibly handle all these hens. Just look what it’s done to me! How about you let me keep the two old hens over in the corner?”
The young rooster sneered, “Not a chance! You’re past your prime, and I’m taking over this coop!”
“Here’s the deal,” said the old rooster, “let’s race around the farmhouse. The winner gets exclusive rights to the whole chicken coop.”
The young rooster laughed. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t stand a chance. But I’ll be nice and give you a head start!”
With that, the old rooster took off running. About 15 seconds later, the young rooster sprang into action, quickly closing the gap. As they rounded the front porch, the young rooster was just five feet behind the old one and gaining fast.
Meanwhile, the farmer was lounging on the porch, enjoying his morning coffee when he saw the roosters sprinting by. He grabbed his shotgun and—BOOM!—the young rooster exploded in a shower of feathers.
The farmer shook his head sadly and said, “Darn it... that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month.”
The old rooster chuckled and replied, “Come on now, you can’t possibly handle all these hens. Just look what it’s done to me! How about you let me keep the two old hens over in the corner?”
The young rooster sneered, “Not a chance! You’re past your prime, and I’m taking over this coop!”
“Here’s the deal,” said the old rooster, “let’s race around the farmhouse. The winner gets exclusive rights to the whole chicken coop.”
The young rooster laughed. “You’re kidding, right? You don’t stand a chance. But I’ll be nice and give you a head start!”
With that, the old rooster took off running. About 15 seconds later, the young rooster sprang into action, quickly closing the gap. As they rounded the front porch, the young rooster was just five feet behind the old one and gaining fast.
Meanwhile, the farmer was lounging on the porch, enjoying his morning coffee when he saw the roosters sprinting by. He grabbed his shotgun and—BOOM!—the young rooster exploded in a shower of feathers.
The farmer shook his head sadly and said, “Darn it... that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month.”
kabin man
Well-known member
Mogman
What man as done, man can do, what never has,maybe
Is that slinkies dad
kabin man
Well-known member
the slinky version of a stork..Is that slinkies dad
Bucket on wheels
Well-known member
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